1. Constant humming or singing
We’ve got the radio, thanks, and this isn’t an audition for a talent show. The same goes for those finger-drumming, pencil-tappers out there. Listening to someone else make noise on repeat is one of the quickest ways to ruin someone’s day. If you are a victim of this and can take it no more, maybe take a leaf out of Mark Wahlberg’s book in The Other Guys.
2. Asking inane questions
About to ask something in the office? Hold up! Stop...think... Will Google know the answer? Asking incessant, simple questions will be sure to drive your colleagues round the bend and back again. Have a quick search before you feel the need to interrupt others as they work.
3. Never asking for help
At the other end of the spectrum are those who avoid getting help, even when they clearly need some. Stop this. It only leads to irritating amounts of huffing and puffing, and outward displays of stress that, quite frankly, everyone could do without. If help is necessary – ask!
4. Not pulling your weight
Refusing to ever do any washing up or the tea rounds means you’re not going to make many mates in the office – so keep an eye out for when it’s your turn!
5. Talking too much
There’s light chit-chat in the office, and then there is verbal overload. You must avoid the latter category at all costs. Nobody wants to listen to you droning on and on about the smallest things, so zip it and let everyone get on with their tasks!
6. Never throwing anything away
At best, it’s lazy, and at worst, unhygienic! If you’ve finished eating or drinking something, throw away your wrappers.
7. Not responding to emails
Do you have a terrible response rate when it comes to e-mails? Ignoring e-mails makes it seem like you are far too busy with other important tasks, and can’t make time for your co-workers. Even worse, your lack of responses may extend to your clients, signalling bad time management – sort it out, and quickly!
8. Coming in when you’re ill
Nobody likes having to sit next to someone who is coughing, spluttering and sniffing. This is common sense - there’s nothing worse than germy tissues lying around near other people’s stuff, so stay at home!
9. Over-sharing
An art form nobody asked for. Know where the line is; this goes for anyone who constantly brings up ‘their better half’, discusses personal relationships, or lets the whole office know about their amazing, brand-new car/house/holiday. You’re either trying to show off or bore everyone to sleep. Please desist.
10. Constantly looking at other people's computer screens
This is equal to the reading of newspapers over the shoulder of your fellow morning commuter, and may result in the same swift elbow in the ribs.
11. Interrupting people when they’re busy
It should be obvious if someone doesn’t want to have a chat, or is tied up with something else. Don’t just hover around – send an e-mail so they can respond in their own time!
12. Office social-climbing
Sucking up to the boss is going to irritate your colleagues beyond belief, as is rubbing your newfound friendship in their faces.
13. Inappropriate jokes
There’s always someone who has to go too far! Even though you may work in what seems like a relaxed office, there can be a fine line between amusing and offending people. Things to avoid at all costs; racism, sexism, political discussions. And if you work in one of these mysterious offices that still partake in pranks, just don’t let it get this far...
14. VOLUME CONTROL!
Do you type louder than was thought to be humanly possible? Maybe you laugh at an alarming volume or only ever talk on speakerphone. A word of advice – inside voices! You’re probably deafening the person next to you and interrupting everyone else’s concentration. Shh!
15. Passive-aggressive dispensing of Post-Its
If you have a bone to pick about something, say it in person! Everybody will know who has left the note anyway, and it makes you look petty.
